Sunday, May 6, 2012

Gletalar and the Purchase of the Beast

Yesterday I purchased this.


Allow me to explain--it rules. Explanation over.

But seriously, I was at the Guitar Center by Westlake in Seattle.

It was time to buy.

Coming in, I had no idea what kind of guitar I wanted, but I had a few ideas from my last visit, which was too quick. Basically, I wanted to play Hammett's and Mustaine's signature models, see what they were about, and go from there.

First I strapped on the Hammett.

The ESP Guitar Company sells Kirk Hammett signature models, and the one I played at Guitar Center was the KH-2 NTB.

Those pickups give it a great sound, and the action is pretty good on the fretboard. It's definitely a lead player's guitar--lightweight and built for speed.

However, the skull-and-crossbones decals on the neck are double-lame-o donkey dick, I like my tuning pegs on the other side of the headstock, and the neck is bolted on. Three strikes against you, ESP Hammett model.

Overall, it played very well, but wasn't mine.

Then I tried the Mustaine.

Dean Guitars have several Dave Mustaine series models, and yesterday I played this one from the Zero series.

It's a thick beast. There's a bit of weight to the thing, and it's a really good guitar for thick, chunky rhythm chugging. If I remember correctly, it's got a neck-thru design, another aspect I wanted in a guitar.

The balance you get with the body style is really nice. There's little resistance for the picking hand to deal with--it feels really open down there, with no part of the body sticking out to the left of the bottom of the neck, like with stratocasters. I felt like I'd have to really work on my control to get used to it, but it might be really worth it.

Sadly, I didn't get the full MUSTAINE DEAN GTRXPRNC because the model at the store had a fret malfuktion. On the first two strings, the difference between the first and second frets was a full step. But I jammed on it anyhow and gave it a good chance. The lowest strings worked, and that thing kinda yells at you. It's got a shout to it. Quite nice, really. Abrasive and built for speed and thrash metals.

In the end, I decided against it for mostly aesthetic reasons. I don't want a guitar with a huge decal I can't change and will probably grow tired of. Also, Mustaine has been pissing me off in the last couple of years with the words that come out of his mouth, the lame- and same-ness of all his songs Youthanasia, and that his hair looks really lame and it's gotta have a shit-ton of product in it.

After playing a few more of the axes there--one a neck-thru ESP, blood red and pretty cool, but still not perfect--I told my guy who was helping me that I liked the Hammett model for its lightweight quality, but I wanted a neck-thru design. I asked him to suggest for me.

After letting him look around for a minute or two and jamming on the Hammett, I said to him, just to joke around and be fickle, "I like my tuning pegs on the other side."

He was standing across the room, holding this black, round thing, unsure of his choice and looking up at the wall of guitars to find something better.

He says, "How about split down the middle?"

I gesture for him to bring it over--I was interested.

And over he walks with this Ibanez, Artist series-model  ARZ400.

Neck-thru design to give me the sustain I want. Simple. Reflective black like a bottomless pit. White trim around the perimeter with two ultra-thin black lines. No decals or frills to speak of. Sturdy, simple metal bridge. My eyes started to shine and my upper thighs to quiver.

It was something not specifically made for metal, but it was very, very metal.

           A guitar is what you make it, right?


The player shapes their guitar to become like them. Likewise, the guitar shapes the player to become more like it. Guitars are malleable, flexible, receptive to influence, just like people. A guitar and its player develop a relationship, however deep (depending on who is more stubborn).

If stubbornness comes with age, then wouldn't it stand to reason that, like a human baby, a brand new guitar would be all the more receptive to conforming to the style of its master!? Master!?

You pick up an old guitar--you get what you get. You buy a new guitar--you get a soul mate.

The player, being the arbiter containing free will and imagination, introduces unique ideas to the guitar. The guitar experiences, responds to, and learns from them. The player learns the instrument's uniqueness, adjusting their playing to accomodate its twists and turns.

A loop is created. Two minds, one flesh, the other wood, metal and potential, become one. Symbiosis is achieved. Both come away with renewed perspective.

If I were to play mostly country music thru this new axe, I would be shaping it to respond to not only that style, but to my style. It would become not only a Country Guitar, but a Glenn Country Guitar. A Glounntry Gluitar.

My new axe is going to be ... well, I'm not solely a metal player, so I'm hesitant to label it a Metal Guitar. But it will be metal. Understand the difference? Ultimately, definitively, this Ibanez ARZ400 will be a Gluitar. A Gleitar.

For better or worse.

Douche-Ready
... You know what? I play metal. Even when I'm fucking around with a delay pedal and making echoey noise and slow drones, it's still metal. My jazz dabblings don't come as naturally. So fuck it, it's my Glenn Metal Guitar. My Gletal Gluitar. Gletalar. Dude, did I just name this thing?!

But what ran through my mind yesterday as I played this thing for the first time in Guitar Center was a simpler notion--purely a feeling, yet complex in its manifestation.

It was comfort; a sigh of relief. This was something new, to be discovered, and holding promise; young and not yet jaded by the evils of the world. It would not only bend to my will, but flow with it and enhance it and give me new ideas with what to do with it, without resistance.

It represents pure potential to me, and the feeling I had when playing it for the first time was one of wonder, which started small but grew quickly.

A Les Paul-style body. Huh. I had always been curious how that style, with the warmth and sustain a stratocaster cannot offer, would do to my playing.

Within five minutes I was hooked. This guitar had, in combination, what the others didn't--

  • lightweight & speed-metal-ready
  • no Floyd Rose tremolo or tuning locks to deal with
  • sustaining, neck-thru design
  • glossy black finish
  • big and fat
  • my fingers fucking flow over that fretboard like water, dawg

My decision was made. It was a natural choice. It was the mature thing to do.

Here's what sealed the deal:

When the employee helping me was ringing me up, he took a couple dollars and some change off the total price, just to make it come to $666, with the case.

Six! 
Six Six!
THE PUR- CHASE OF - THE BEAST!

No comments:

Post a Comment